My whole childhood I never pictured myself older than 27. Well, here I am, almost 34 and two kids, 4 residences, two states and an ex-husband later… and all I can think is SHIT. W

as this supposed to happen? I think I thought about it for a moment after my 27th birthday and thought, maybe just maybe there’s a mid-life crisis in my future. But then, would I have to wait until I was 40ish? Or at 35, with a suddenly looming presence of potentially cancerous cells infiltrating my body?

My skin doesn’t hang where it should anymore. My laugh lines have become permanent fixtures even when I’m not laughing. It’s been 3 years and I still can’t shake the baby weight (m

aybe I should stop reaching for those cheeseburgers) and THERE I WAS thrown back into the dating scene. Oh wait, what was that? Online dating? You mean match.com? No…? Tinder? *shudders* With each swipe left or right I felt more and more superficial. How about a real conversation??? Do you have kik or WhatsApp? KILL ME NOW!!! Then trying to describe yourself in 200 characters or less? No. Friggin. Way. I’m lucky that phase didn’t last long… HELLLOOOOO Boyfriend!!!

So what is that I really do? Well by day I’m Batman and by night I’m… oh… it’s the other way around. Actually, I’m a chemistry educator by day and a mom by night. Really. I’m also a self-proclaimed nerd, recently learned to solve the Rubik’s cube, and am a sucker for most-things pirate (not the frou-frou girly pirate shit).

This. Is. My. Life. And it is wonderful, amazing, and fricking crazy! If it weren’t for the 2 little mini-mes running around creating shenanigans then I would probably be institutionalized for the crazy. Welcome aboard, enjoy the ride.